If your child constantly loses track of homework, takes forever to get dressed, or struggles to stay focused even on tasks they enjoy, please know that you’re not alone. These challenges often stem from delays or weaknesses in executive function skills, which are critical for managing daily life, especially for kids.
What Are Executive Functions?
Executive functions are a set of mental skills that help us manage behavior, emotions, and thinking. They’re responsible for things like planning, problem solving, staying organized, and completing tasks from start to finish. These skills are largely governed by the prefrontal cortex, which is a part of the brain that continues to develop into early adulthood.
Key executive functions include:
- Working memory: Holding and using information temporarily (e.g., remembering a math problem while solving it, or remembering a sentence while spelling the words as you write the sentence)
- Cognitive flexibility: Shifting attention or approach to a task when things don’t go as expected (e.g., finding an alternative when you find the shirt you were planning to wear is in the dirty clothes hamper)
- Inhibitory control: Resisting impulses or distractions to stay focused (e.g. playing with the dog when you’re supposed to be doing homework)
- Time management: Planning how long tasks will take and sticking to it (e.g., starting your science fair project the night before it is due)
When kids have executive functioning deficits, even simple routines—like packing a backpack or completing a task—can become overwhelming.
Why Executive Function Challenges Are So Common
Children with neurodevelopmental conditions such as ADHD and autism often experience executive dysfunction, but even kids without a diagnosis can struggle. Stress, anxiety, sleep deprivation, or big transitions (e.g., starting at a new school), can also interfere with how the brain organizes and prioritizes tasks. Further, because these challenges aren’t always visible, they’re often misunderstood. What may look like laziness, defiance, or forgetfulness could be the result of your child trying to do their best but not having the internal tools they need to succeed.
Signs of Poor Executive Functioning
- Difficulty starting or finishing tasks
- Getting overwhelmed by multi-step directions
- Frequent emotional outbursts or shutdown
- Difficulty with transitions or flexible thinking
- Seeming unable to pay attention, even with reminders
These aren’t character flaws—they’re skill gaps. And just like reading or riding a bike, executive function skills can be taught and strengthened.
How to Help Kids Develop Executive Functioning Skills
Whether your child has a formal diagnosis like attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) or autistic spectrum disorder (ASD), or simply struggles with follow-through and focus, there are tools and strategies available—and they work.
1. Break Tasks Into Smaller Steps
A child with executive functioning deficits may see “clean your room” as one giant, vague task. Help them break it down, task by task:
- Pick up laundry
- Put books on the shelf
- Make the bed
Small wins build confidence and make larger goals feel doable.
2. Use Visual Aids and Checklists
Visual schedules, color-coded planners, or sticky-note reminders can be game-changers. They support working memory and help kids build independence without you having to constantly nag them.
3. Build Routines That Support Regulation
Executive function is closely tied to regulating skills—like managing emotions and energy levels. Encourage consistent bedtimes, stretch breaks, and predictable daily routines. These foundational supports help the brain work better.
4. Teach Time Management Through Practice
Time can be an abstract concept for many kids. Try using timers or visual countdowns to help them develop a better sense of how long tasks really take. Celebrate when they accurately estimate time spent on activities—this builds awareness and motivation.
5. Practice Problem Solving Together
When a task feels overwhelming, ask:
- “What’s the first thing you can do?”
- “What might get in the way?”
- “What can we do if the plan changes?”
This builds cognitive flexibility and teaches kids that there’s often more than one way to approach a challenge.
6. Model Self Control
Show your child how you pause before reacting, take deep breaths, or shift your own focus. Narrating your internal process helps them learn by example.
For example: “I want to check my phone, but I’m going to finish this email first so I stay on track.”
When to Seek Professional Help
If executive functioning challenges are impacting your child’s school performance, friendships, or self-esteem, therapy can help. Our team uses evidence-based strategies—including CBT, skill coaching, and family-based interventions—to support growth in attention, organization, and emotional regulation.
There’s No Quick Fix—But There Is a Path Forward
Improving executive functioning takes time, practice, and patience. But with the right tools and support, your child can go from overwhelmed and scattered to capable and confident. Every child can learn to plan, prioritize, and persist—they just need a toolbox and someone in their corner.