Written by: Courtney Simelton, MSW, LCSW
Struggling with infertility can be one of the most frustrating challenges that a couple can face. It can become even more difficult when you and your partner disagree on treatment options. While it can be overwhelming, it is possible to navigate treatment options effectively with your partner by using the right strategies.
How can you navigate these challenges?
Open Communication
Being honest and vulnerable are two important aspects of communication. Sharing your feelings with your partner while being open and honest can help your partner understand you and your desires on a deeper level. This promotes a better emotional connection.
Seek Professional Guidance
Differing opinions about next steps in your fertility treatments are common. Having someone to help sort out you and your partner’s thoughts can be beneficial. Whether it is a therapist or your reproductive endocrinology team, it is best to get professional guidance with people who are qualified to help.
Establish Goals & Respect Boundaries
Talking out your plans and goals for the future can help aid in deciding on treatment options. Talk with your partner about what you want to achieve within your relationship and how you see yourselves in the future. How can your goals help guide you with your treatment plans or options? Respect your partner’s opinions. If you and your partner do not agree on a treatment path, try to understand where they are coming from in their decision. Give them the space and time that they need to process and grieve. Experiencing infertility is difficult to navigate for all.
Support Each Other
While it may seem obvious, it is important to lift each other up and remember you are a team. Listen to one another and be respectful. Understand that their opinion about treatment is not fully based on their opinion of your relationship. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion on treatment. If able, try to attend appointments together and stick with each other when a partner is receiving their injections. Reminding your partner they are not alone.
Stop Self Questioning
You did not do anything wrong. It is not your fault, it is not your partner’s fault. Self-questioning happens a lot when others start to talk about your family building. They may say such things as “when are you going to have a baby?, or “you should try this treatment…”. It is very difficult to navigate those conversations. Focus on your relationship with your partner and the community around you who care for you and are there to support you. Sometimes family and friends say things that can help, but as time goes on, and feelings of desperation emerge, it is harder to be accepting of what family says. Set clear boundaries with others.
Having a stable understanding of each other’s goals for the future and a good supportive relationship can combat many negative emotions and factors that come from disagreements. Remember to respect each other and communicate openly. This is not a one person fight. Working together as a team and understanding each other can ultimately lead to a decision that you both see as best fit.